


Under a shadow

by Smasher3kuk



Category: Holby City
Genre: F/F, F/M, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-18
Updated: 2017-03-18
Packaged: 2018-10-07 08:17:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10356153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smasher3kuk/pseuds/Smasher3kuk
Summary: What is it like living under the shadow of a legend, One boy certainly knows what it is like.I suck at summaries, just give it a chance.





	

Cameron was glad that his mother had kept her maiden name when she had married his father. It was an unusual thing to be glad of, and when he was younger he had hated it that she hadn't. So many conversations and so much confusion had been caused by it. Despite it being classed as the modern era people couldn't understand why she kept her name and had just gone by Ms., the only person she referred to her as a Mrs was his Dad.

The happiness about his mother's name came about pretty soon after he had started medical school. The deanery of the university obviously had records pertaining to him, which stated his parent;s names, but unless you were actively seeking to find this out information it was not something you would easily guess. Both him and Charlotte had been given their father's name when they were registered, this was pretty much the normal thing everyone did especially if their parents were married. He had found out years later that his Mum had fought with Marcus and had lost for his surname to be registered as Wolfe-Dunn, to acknowledge the other name in the family. He had felt sorry that his mother had lost that battle and when he was younger he would have been happy to carry his mother's name as well.

But when he started Med school, that all changed, he was glad he was a Dunn, a common enough name that it did not evoke much in recognition. He could be anonymous, just the way he wanted to be. His father was considered a well-regarded surgeon, competent in his field and so forth, but outside the local hospital trust area where they lived his name was merely a footnote on few research papers. That meant when they heard the name Dunn, nothing much was made off. This is where the happiness about her not changing her name came in and not getting her way about hyphenating his name, his Mum was considered a rock star in the surgical world. One of the leading lights of trauma surgery, a pioneer of new techniques.

Cameron had known that his Mum was considered a good surgeon and had recognition in the medical world, he had heard his parents argue about this on more than one occasion, his Dad was jealous of her career, and blamed her for the lack of the recognition he had, that by swanning off on tour and leaving him looking after the kids that he had not been allowed to reach his true potential. But the young naïve version of himself though it was just within the RAMC that she was regarded as such but not so much in the wider medical community. Oh, how wrong he had been.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

The first time he had got any inclination about his Mothers reputation had come about 4 months into his first foray at Medical School. Everyone is this particular seminar had been assigned to a 4 person group to complete a research paper about different surgical techniques which were most effective after Road Traffic Accidents. The groups had been assigned specific organs to focus their studies on, this they had been advised should have been random, but Cameron had other thoughts about that. He was certain by the end of this paper that his tutor knew exactly who his mother was when his group had been assigned there organ. The liver, he had been grateful for that, it was least an interesting organ, unlike the spleen. But that had soon died down when he noticed right on the top of the list of recommended reading a name he knew so well, a name of the lead author of what was considered the best source of information. Bernice Wolfe. The name startled him, and he sat staring at it, not really taking in the conversation around him until he heard his name being said, the conversation he had missed was a discussion about who was going to read what, due to his lack of attention he had not had a chance to choose one of the papers himself and had been given by the group the very paper that had caught his eye. His mother's one. He had found out afterwards that one of his fellow students had googled the whole list of reading texts and had found out this one was the longest by a long way, as he had not spoken up the group had decided that he could be one to slug through it. 

He could have easily spoken up and stated that it didn't matter, and fessed up at that point about his Mum. Explain that he didn't need to read it, that he could send a quick e-mail to the lead author, arrange a phone call and get the information directly from the source, his mum who was currently serving out in Afghanistan. But for two reasons he didn't, the first being the age old issue of nepotism. If he came out and stated that he knew the author, well more than knew, that he was blood-related to them, he would certain that he would be accused of getting a place on this course, not by skill or academic achievement, that he got it for being her son. The second reason was he knew that he wouldn't get this information of his Mum, she was steadfast in her way, she didn't believe in just spoon feeding her children by giving them the answers. If they needed to find something out they had to do it themselves. So he knew if he sent that e-mail, he wouldn't get a phone call helping him out so he didn't have to do a whole lot of reading, he would get a call instead which would consist of a lecture about not cutting corners. He had sat through that once too many times growing up and he didn't fancy going through it again.

This would happen a few more times for him, his Mother's name would appear on articles he needed to read, or mentioned in lectures. Her name always linked to work and techniques which were considered revolutionary in traumatic injuries. And it was a lot more than just a few, her name seemed to come up alarmingly often in relation to his medical study.

But this was nothing really, there were other situations where it was much harder to cover up there connection

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

He had just started his second year of medical school, unlike the first year, there was a lot more hands on work to do. On this particular morning he was supposed to be in a skills lab, where they would be practising suture techniques, when he had got to the room he and the other students had found note pinned to the door advising that it has been cancelled due to them being able to bring in a surprise guest lecturer due to them being in the local area at this time. He hadn't taken much thought to it; and hadn't really twigged about the fact that it was so last minute, he had presumed whoever was presenting had arrived to assist on a surgery at one of the local hospitals and that the university had persuaded them to come in to inspire their future doctors. He would admit, he was grateful that the lab had been cancelled, he had had a late night last night, and would admit he may have had one too many drinks. Strolling over to the assigned lecture hall, he hoped he could get a seat far enough back that he might be able to sneak in a crafty 40 winks, he would just set his phone to record it and review it later.

Walking into the lecture hall he hadn't noticed who was on stage at that point, the entranceway to this particular room was set right next to the stage so you couldn't see it to you really entered the room and sat down. The first thing he noticed when he came into the room that it was pretty much full already. And like him they had all decided that the best course of action was to sit in the back of the room, this left him with limited options of where to sit, the only choices being a few rows back from the stage and facing right to the centre of it. He made his way to one of these seats, annoyed that he would now have to feign some interest into the lecture and that he wouldn't be able to try and get a cheeky nap in.

Sitting down, his eyes finally able to see the stage, he spotted who he had now knew was the surprise guest lecturer, and he knew that face all so well. She had by that point spotted him, and he could see from his seat, her arching one of her eyebrows and a mischievous glint in her eye. One that he had seen many times before.

Grabbing his phone out of his pocket he shot a quick text off, praying that her phone was on silent or vibrate. That somehow that would make it less obvious who he was sending messages to. The other students around him were not stupid and someone would quickly figure out that every time he was sending a text that the women on stages phone would beep.

He saw her reach into her pocket and pull it out, knowing at the moment that her phone was indeed on silent and that she had felt it vibrate

Staring down at his phone he waited for a response back to the first message he had sent her which comprised of.

WHAT THE FUCK MUM! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!

He didn't wait long for a response. The first message consisted of telling him off and then second was more than a bit sarcastic

LANAGAUE CAMERON. I AM YOU MOTHER, DO WE NEED TO HAVE ANOTHER TALK ABOUT WHAT IS SUITABLE WORDS TO USE IN A PUBLIC AREA?

A few moments later the second text came through.

WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM DOING, BAKING A CAKE? I AM YOUR GUEST LECTURER. 

Cam looked up at the stage after reading the message and could see a slight smirk on his mother face.

He quickly shot a response back.

FIRSTLY, YES I SWORE BUT NOT OUT LOUD. NO TALK NEEDED! I THINK I AM ENTITLED TO BE A BIT SHOCKED. SECONDLY, WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME???? DID IT SLIP YOUR MIND? WE HAD BREAKFAST AT HOME TOGETHER ABOUT 4O MINUTES AGO.

He saw her look down and read his message, quickly typing a response back to him.

WHAT AND HAVE YOU MISS CLASS, IF I HAD TOLD YOU, YOU WOULDN'T HAVE TURNED UP. ANYWAY I WANTED TO SEE THE LOOK OF SUPRISE ON YOUR FACE, ALSO CAM YOU BARELY HAD YOU EYES OPEN OVER BREAKFAST, SO YOU PROBABLY WOULDN'T HAVE PAID ATTENTION ANYWAY. HEAVY NIGHT WAS IT? 

He responded back quickly.

YEP, COLOUR ME AS SUPRISED. THANKS FOR NOT TELLING ME. ALSO, IT WAS NOT A HEAVY NIGHT, I HAD A FEW DRINKS SO WHAT.

He could see his Mum's face contort into a frown and he now wished he had not sent the last part of that text message.

IT WAS MORE THAN A FEW DRINKS CAM. YOU KNOW IT AND I KNOW IT, WE HAVE TALKED ABOUT THIS ALREADY. I WON'T GET INTO ARGUMENT OVER TEXT MESSAGE NOW, THE LECTURE IS ABOUT TO START. BUT I WANT TO SPEAK TO YOU LATER.

He watched his mum stuff her phone back into her pocket, and he followed suit knowing she would just moan at him later if she caught him playing with his phone.

The lecture started no so long after she had sent the last text. She was introduced to the room and he noticed very quickly that the other students who didn't have to fear being told off, were searching her online. He could hear whispered conversations around him as people read about her and her accomplishments. All stating her qualifications, remarking on how often her name was mentioned in articles and the positive glowing comments online about her skills and abilities. All he was hoping for that they didn't stumble on his name during those searches, he knew for a fact he was listed as her son on her Facebook page and he prayed that she had set her account up not to be searchable and hopefully not open to anyone who was not a friend on it.

As the lecture proceeded he was at times impressed in regards to his Mother's ability as a doctor and surgeon. When they were at home together, when she wasn't on tour, they never talked about what she did. She was his mum, he was her kid. She parented and that was what was normal for him.

During the break in the lecture, he overheard a number of students commenting on her physical appearance. From both the assembled men and women in the room. He couldn't see, and why would he, she was his Mum, that was considered very attractive for her age. Shuddering slightly and trying to block these conversations out he heard two snippets of conversations he wished he hadn't. Someone wondering if she had kids because she could definitely be classed as a MILF. And one more which was a bit lewd, which made him want to turn around and hit this person. But he knew he couldn't, someone who was wondering if she was single and had a thing for younger guys as he wouldn't mind giving her a good seeing to. He hoped that she couldn't hear these things being said, and he wished the floor would open up underneath so he didn't have to either.

The end of the lecture came, the students giving his Mum a round of applause, it had turned out to be quite informative, and he came back with a respect of the work of trauma surgeons as well as a better understanding of his Mum and her career, the thing that had taken her away from him for large amounts of his childhood. He had not failed to hear the slipping in of a childhood anecdote about him, no names had been mentioned, just the incident itself, an accident he had had in a park when he was about 6. 

The room was dismissed and very quickly his fellow students had swarmed around his Mother at the front of the room, throwing questions at her about different aspects of the talk. Cam could have joined them, mingled and been one with his peers. But he didn't trust himself not to call her Mum in front of the assembled, and he didn't trust that his mother wouldn't somehow reveal herself to the assembled group as his Mum. So whilst she was distracted, he had sneaked out of her room, this was in part an attempt to avoid her. Delay the inevitable telling off he would get about his drinking.

Her lecture was the talk of the class for a couple of weeks, and his friends in his class were taking his reticent about talking about it and her as embarrassment, as an admission of him having a crush on her and not wanting to fess up about it. He knew that more than a few of his peers had developed them afterwards, it seemed she had turned more than one head. And he wished he could throw a bomb at the group of people, that she was married, had been for over 20 years, that she two kids and had never shown any interest in women in that way. Let's say that last thought he had found out not to be true some years later, but at this point in time, he had been living out the assumption that his parents were very happily married. If only his students knew that the embarrassment was not down to a crush on am older woman, but being fed up of hearing stories for the last weeks all which involved his Mother. He loved his mother but she had taken over his life for a while, at home, at school, seemingly everywhere. She would be back at this point for 6 months before being deployed again, and he was grateful during this time the university had not persuade her to come back in. She had been busying herself being his and Charlotte parent. She had just started her GCSE year, and currently was locked in battle with their Mum and Dad, she had taken to try and break every rule there parents had set, and more that once he had come home from university to hear the sound of his sister yelling and slamming her bedroom door, as once again she was grounded for her behaviour.

That was when he decided it was time to perhaps move out and get a place with his friends

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

Cam was sat outside the head lecturers office, his un-enrolment letter grasped tightly. He had sent a copy of it via e-mail when he had requested this meeting. By taking a physical copy he wanted to make certain to him that he wanted to drop out. He was only sat there for a few minutes before the door opened and the lecturer came out, he was a man in late 50s.

“Cameron, would you like to come in and take a seat.” He said gesturing at the open door. Cameron stood up and walked through the door, taking the obvious seat that was there for visitors.

The man came back in and sat down opposite Cameron, pressing a few keys on his PC's keyboard, a file popped up.

“So Cameron, I received your e-mail. You wish to un-enrol, please may I ask why” He queried.

“I don't believe becoming a Doctor is for me, I feel completely lost at times. Also, I have some things going on in my personal life which is impacting me at the moment which I believe is making studying harder.” Cameron did not come out and say the exact things that were affecting his life. He had only just started to speak about them with his own family. In the last 6 months, he had to started to party hard, every night pretty much, would drink himself stupid, get stoned and had started to snort cocaine. He knew he had to change when he woke up in a gutter one morning, with no memory of what had happened the night before.

“When I received you e-mail Cameron, I went to speak to your class tutors and seminar leaders. They were all surprised that you were looking to leave, and they advised me that you are on of the top students within you years, and you received pretty much unanimous glowing praise from them.”

“Really?” Cameron was surprised.

“Yes, really.” Looking at his screen he started to read something of it as he spoke. “I presume you have spoken to you parents, let see, Marcus and Bernice.”

Cameron could see his eyes grow wide when he saw his mother's surname.

“Bernice Wolfe, my apologies for asking this considering what you are here to discuss. But your mother's name is very recognisable to meet, is your mother Bernie Wolfe the trauma surgeon with the RAMC by any chance?”

Cameron had to stop himself rolling his eyes, here it goes again, another fanboy of his Mum.

“Yes, that's her. My mum, Bernie Wolfe the trauma surgeon.”

“I'm guessing from the tone in your voice, who she is is part of your decision.”

“Somewhat, yes, and my Dad as well. Both of my parents are surgeons, it was pretty much presumed that I would go to Medical school as well. Keep up the family business. I love the course, don't get me wrong, it just I feel like my parents expect me to surpass them. When I started I didn't think much of it, my Dad's career cannot be considered that stellar, and as for my Mum, I just thought she was just a surgeon in the army. Instead, I find she out she's this medical superstar, multiple research papers against her name, citations galore, you invited her to lecture her and make such a big deal about it online after, I am studying techniques she pioneered. Kinda makes you feel inadequate, everyone makes a big deal about her, and I guess she kinda is, but all I see is the women who grounded me, told me off, sodded of on tour for months on end, who took care of me when I was sick, the woman who gave birth to me.”

“Well, at least this explains, why she so quickly agree to give a lecture to your year. We were pretty amazed that she agreed to do so, as we sprung it on her at very short notice. It was because of you being in that year.”

“Yep, she doesn't mind giving lectures to students, my Dad always jokes that the army pays her a commission for every new medic she signs up from these lectures. In this case she told me she didn't want to miss a golden opportunity to spring a surprise one me. Seeing her on the stage was not what I expected especially as I had had breakfast with her not so long before.”

“And you never told anyone at all, that she was your Mum? Cameron, I don't expect either she or your Dad expect you to surpass them, I suspect that you want you to be happy in whatever career you choose.”

“No, no-one here know about, I wanted to be viewed under my own merits. That's why I want to leave, I need to see if there is something else out there for me. Another profession which would suit me more.”

His lecturer pondered for a moment and they spoke.

“If this is what you truly want, I can't really stop you. It is your choice to want to do this. But please be aware that any point you want to return there will be a note on your file saying that I fully support that decision.”

So he had got want he wanted, a few year down the line he would come to regret it but at that time it was wanted he needed. He had felt the disappointment of both of his parents when he dropped out, but they knew he needed the time to sort his head out. Curb his drinking and drunk taking, take time out and see what was out. But this conversation was the first time he spoken out loud about his mother in this way, how much her being who she was having am impact on parts of his life. She didn't know it at the time, he hadn't voiced in any way to her that part of his decision at that time to walk away was because of her. Fearing he could never come out for being in her shadow. That once his career started at as a doctor it would soon come out that the was Bernie Wolfe's son and that for the rest of his time in the profession everything that he did would be compared instantly to her.

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

 

For a number of years who she was as a Doctor and a person had no real impact on his life, he just went back to being Cameron Dunn, the boy who's Mum was in the army and that was it. That was until both himself and his mother had a fateful day which sets things in motion. He finally getting to see her action as both a Doctor and seeing her trying to protect him, truly a wolf looking after her cub. And for his mother that day that changed everything which brought so many things into motion, which finally got her to speak out about who she really was.

For Bernie it had all started with the IED, he remembered getting a call from his father. Asking if he could come home that evening, that he had something to tell him and his sister. He went, he was sat down, and himself and Charlotte were told how close they had come to losing their Mum.

He remembered the shock of being told she had been airlifted home, that she had been at risk of paralysis due to a spinal cord injury, that had also had an aneurysm that could of very easily killed her. He remembered the anger he had at his father, for not telling them to she was out of surgery and the prognosis seemed good, that he knew was his father's choice, he hadn't wanted to worry them, scare them if everything was going to be okay. But he had always thought what if it hadn't been okay? Because of that decision, he would have lost out on one last chance to see and speak to his mother.

Then it was his Mums decision that she didn't want her children to visit her whilst she was a patient in the hospital, the ever present solider in that decision, not wanting to show any weaknesses.

For a short while, everything seemed to be okay, his Mum had decided to leave the army and start a civilian life, taking up a job at the same hospital she had been operated on, he started to spend more time at the family home just to revel in the opportunity of being able to see it.

But this normality was not to last, his parents must have thought he was stupid, his Mum hadn't come home in two weeks, he had heard angry phone calls between them, his father saying on more than one occasion why. He could sense what was coming up, it was obvious. So when his Dad sat him down and explained that he and his Mum was getting divorced it had not come as a big surprise, he had course wondered why she had not come and told them together, wasn't that parents do when they split up. They were told the reason quite quickly, that she had had an affair with one of her comrades. What was said next was the ultimate surprise; when Cam had heard the word affair he jumped to instantaneous conclusion that it was a man. He didn't have any reason not to think that and when he found out it was another women he was floored. 

It took him a long time to process the information, he was angry for a long while, he didn't want anything to do with her, he ignored her letters and texts, rejected her calls whilst he sorted out his feelings. But he did have one regret, being manipulated into writing a statement against her to support his Dad's side of the divorce.

Weeks quickly turned into months and he had his fateful day, the RTA which landed him on a trolley on AAU the very ward where his mother worked.

From the first moment he saw her he could sense something different about her, there was a lightness to her, that finally now she had been able to come out and actually embrace her sexuality that she was able to let the mask slip that she had worn for so many years. Cameron had thought understandable about the what ifs, obviously realising if she came to terms with years ago, when she was younger he wouldn't have been here, wouldn't actually be alive, a person. 

Once the truth had come out about the RTA and he stopped worrying about himself, he had started to pick up on quiet conversations around him. Her coming out had occurred on one of the other wards and had quickly made its way into hospital gossip. She was the married woman who had the lesbian affair, and it had now gone quickly around the hospital that he was a patient here. That Bernie's Wolfe son was being treated on AAU. The gossip mill had started again and he knew his Mum must have heard it, but he could see it roll off her like it was nothing. He was her Son, and there was nothing to be embarrassed about in regards to that, she had a whole life before she had come out, and part of the life was being a mother, the same as she was now.

For most of his Mum's colleagues on AAU they didn't partake in this new line of gossip, they had been working with her for weeks and had started to like and respect for not just her medical prowess but for the person she was. Her boy had been injured, and she like any mother wanted to take care of him. Plain and simple. Her being a late life lesbian did not change that fact, as a parent your first instinct was to take care of your child.

He was perfectly honest when he said he enjoyed seeing her, now the truth was out he had a chance to see her been honest to herself. And he still saw the same things he had done growing up. Her protecting him, her still being the same woman who cleaned him up when he hurt himself, the same woman who told him off when he did something wrong. But he also saw the doctor, saw the woman in action who he read and learnt about when had been studying. And he also saw before she had even done, he had seen her at ease with Serena in a way he had never saw her behave with his Dad. She hadn't come to that realisation herself yet, he noted that Serena hadn't either but he was certain that something would happen.

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

Past his release from AAU he hadn't seen his Mum again, they were talking over the phone on occasion now, but there was still a chasm between them. Things had moved on for the both of them, his Mum had realised the feelings he had felt for Serena, but it had been hard work, made difficult by Bernie acting like a coward and running when she found out the depths of Serena's feelings. 

As for him, he had made the decision that Med school was for him, re-enrolled on the course and was about to start his training on the wards. When he first returned he had kept quiet about who his mother was, but he knew he wouldn't be able to forever depending on where his placement was. Both Holby and St James were teaching hospitals and he could be assigned to either one. He had a preference of course but he knew he had no choice.

Soon enough he got his assignment, as a F1 he would be expected to work in different wards and areas of the hospital. Depending on where he worked would depend on how much he would need to explain about his connection to a certain lead surgeon on a certain ward.

As it was he would end up having to give a full disclosure to his fellow students, his first placement was on AAU, so there would have to be a revealing of his parentage. The co-lead being his Mum was something he would need to tell them, it would be much better than the other F1s hearing it on the grapevine.

But he didn't straight away when he turned up for his first day he recognised someone else straight away, Morven. She was the hospital's foundation doctor representative and was there to show them around the hospital and take them to their respective wards. At least one of the assembled students in that group had been assigned AAU the same as him, and she would need to know. He had asked Morven when he first spotted her to keep quiet as she took them around, like his Mum turning up at that lecture, he wanted to surprise her with his appearance on the ward.

Deliberately he had kept at the back of the pack, trying to ensure he was not spotted. And he waited for the moment they landed on AAU, had heard the group being introduced to both his Mum and Serena. Hearing them playful bantering between themselves and joke lightly to the group. The group stepped away to carry on and he saw his moment, dropping to the floor he turned his back and pretended to tie his shoe.

He heard his Mum call out to Morven and the group.

“Oh, never leave a man behind. Or was that the previous career?”

Serena responded playfully to her as he turned around

“That was the previous career.”

He responded as he turned around, hoping his mother would pick up the playful tone in his voice.

“But it's okay to leave a family behind?” 

The shock that pulled over his mother's face was impressive, he had really caught her out.

He had been a tough day, he had kept on slipping up, calling her Mum instead of the expected Ms Wolfe. She had chewed him out slightly, could she was trying to put a boundary up, her role as a parent and her role at that time as a mentor to trainee doctors. He had tried his best not to call her Mum, not wanting to let the others who didn't know him already to find out. But it wasn't easy to look at her and see Ms Wolfe, she was Mum, always had been and always would be.

Midway through the day he had spoken to his fellow student and explained to them what was going on, that one of the co-leads was his Mum, the other F1 had remarked to him that one of the consultants seemed to be extra hard on him. It was probably easier to explain it on day one than to way weeks down the line. He had expected to get accused of favouritism and that he would get an easy ride, instead he got a look of sympathy and an explanation that they would never want to work with their Mum.

Throughout the day he had the chance to observe both him Mum and Serena. Their relationship was still quite new, and he didn't go around broadcasting it. That was for them to do, he was trying to get the measure of the situation. Himself and Charlotte had been informed by their Mother that she was in a relationship with her, he saw the looks between them as they passed by each other, looks he had never saw her give his father. Could see how much at ease she was around her, so in sync. 

They both knew it but one day soon they would need to talk over everything properly. The affair, her marriage, her army service taking her away, her feelings for Serena. But that could wait.

For the first time in his studies in medicine he was proud and not ashamed to say Bernice Wolfe was his Mum

**Author's Note:**

> I was supposed to be writing an update to another one of my stories but this seemed to tumble out instead. Seeing Cam on the show always made me wonder what it was like for him having Bernie as a mother. I always had a strong feeling that he never really was comfortable with it. I am considering adding another chapter looking at Charlotte relationship with her mother.


End file.
